Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”

Standards are a good thing. They can be misused. Sometimes they can even be misguided. But in general we need them. I live in a neighborhood with “covenants” that govern many of the things you can or can’t do with your property. They are much more restrictive than the ordinances the city has and enforces.

The board elected by our home owner’s association faced a crisis recently. Past boards failed to enforce many of the standards. As a result, more and more people were ignoring them. This resulted in more complaints from other neighbors. Some neighbors became quite cross with each other. It negatively affected relationships.

Many of the standards in our neighborhood covenants are matters of personal chosen by the developers many years ago. I personally don’t care if my neighbor’s shingles are brown instead of gray. The Church also has a set of standards governing member behaviors. They are a reflection of God’s personal opinions. But these are not arbitrary. In each case he has chosen his standards to prevent real harm and suffering to his people. Ignore his standards, and relationships, families, health, civilization, and most of all, faith, all start to fall apart.

Christians have often had mistaken ideas about why a Christian would dare to point out a fellow Christian’s sin. It is not about the external appearances. “What would people think if they found out this family of faith has sinners in it?” I guarantee you, they already know. If a visitor to our church had any questions, we let the cat out of the bag when we confess our sins together at the beginning of the service. “I am by nature sinful and have disobeyed you in my thoughts, words, and actions.” We aren’t trying to preserve some sort of spiritual “property value” for our group, keep up the appearances of this “neighborhood” of faith. Where you have sinners gathered, you always have something of a spiritual slum.

It is not about getting “justice” when I have been hurt. Christ’s family doesn’t confront sin because I get the satisfaction of watching a brother or sister grovel in front of me for a few moments. Jesus does not want this to become a sick and twisted way to feel better about myself.

This is about a restored relationship. “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” By “winning your brother or sister over” Jesus isn’t saying, “You win the debate.” He is saying, “You keep them as a member of your family. You have preserved or added to the people who love you as Christian family, and that you love in return.”

There is a sense of two people who will go on together happy, trusting, full of respect and genuine concern. There is forgiveness, just as Christ has forgiven us. Unless we keep in mind this purpose, there will be something wrong about the way Christ’s family confronts sin.